Masters of Gilligan

Toby Tells It Like It Is

I'm not sure what I enjoyed more in today's Mary Worth...

 

...CamelToeby's exposition on the joys of forbidden love with Professor Neckbeard, or Mare's blasé "Ain't love grand" response.  "If only I could enjoy human emotions such as 'love,'" Mare thinks.  "Emotions other than smug self-satisfaction, that is."

Coming up next week in Master's of Gilligan -- a wrap-up (with photos) on our trip to Disney, some long-delayed photos from Kennywood (by request for Mountain Mama) and, as George was told in "A Hard Day's Night," an "early clue to the new direction" for Master's of Gilligan.

Hell's iPod, Part XXIV

Overall, I'd have to say I'm quite satisfied with my gym.  There is, however, one area where they could improve -- and that's the morning music selection.

Longtime readers (both of you) have heard about the musical horrors before, as provided by the club's XM service.  I can only assume they set the dial to the "Oldies to Retch To" channel.  (And I should note here, I have no problem with oldies, or even with some of these songs in a non-gym context.  I AM an oldie.  But surely XM has an oldies channel with a little pep to it.)

This morning, they outdid themselves.  Not only were we motivated by Jim Stafford's 1974 hit "Wildwood Weed," but we also got our hearts racing to the upbeat sounds of Sammy Davis Jr's "Candyman" and the song that, for my money, was the second-most nauseating hit of the 70's, Captain and Tennille's "Muskrat Love."  ("Timothy" by The Buoys clearly holds down the number one spot.  CJ has yet to play that one, though.  And frankly, "Timothy" has a little more pep than most of this stuff, even if it is about either cannibalism or eating a mule named "Timothy" depending on whom you believe.)

Yeah, I know, I have an iPod, so I'm able to drown most of that stuff out -- but sometimes you're right under a speaker and can't help but hear it.

So here, then, is the CJ Hall of Fame -- the Top 10 DeMotivational Songs that have polluted the airwaves during my 3+ years at the gym, or what I like to call "Music to Drop The Weights On Your Head By":

1. Silhouette - Kenny G
2. Weekend in New England - Barry Manilow
3. Lovin' You - Minnie Ripperton
4. Wreck of the Edmond Fitzgerald - Gordon Lightfoot
5. Teen Angel - Mark Dinning
6. Muskrat Love - Captain & Tennille
7. Feelings - Morris Albert
8. Please Mr. Please - Olivia Newton John
9. Macarthur Park - Richard Harris
10. Shannon - Henry Gross

Shattering the Glass Ceiling

Allow me to present a fully 3-D rendered animation of a conversation Julie and I overheard at the 17th Street Cafe a few years ago.  A table of middle-aged women were discussing their younger and apparently much-beloved younger co-worker:

Demented and Sad -- But Social

"John Hughes...is one of the most prolific filmmakers of the last 25 years. He is not often cited for greatness, although some of his titles, like "The Breakfast Club," "Weird Science," "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" and "Home Alone," have fervent admirers. What can be said for him is that he usually produces a real story about people he has clear ideas about; his many teenage comedies, for example, are miles more inventive than the recent sex-and-prom sagas. The buried story engine of "Planes, Trains and Automobiles" is not slowly growing friendship or odd-couple hostility (devices a lesser film might have employed), but empathy. It is about understanding how the other guy feels."

That's from Roger Ebert's "Great Movies" entry on "Planes, Trains and Automobiles."  At first glance, it's probably a little surprising to see "Planes, Trains..." listed as a great movie, but Ebert goes to great length explaining its many qualities that add up to greatness -- the primary of which being that Hughes knew enough as a director to realize that while his story was slight, he had two great actors capable of great things, and the wisdom to get out of their way.

Nobody looks to a "Breakfast Club" or a "Vacation" for greatness, but they and many of Hughes' other films have greatness in them just the same.  Ok, not on the level of a "Casablanca" or a "Godfather," but what Ebert says above holds true -- Hughes created characters in each one of those movies that we all can recognize.  Think of the overzealous, dopey dad who's trying to hold things together in "Vacation" or the well-meaning oaf in "Uncle Buck."

Personally, my favorite is the Anthony Michael Hall character in "Sixteen Candles."  In a rare moment of empathy from the object of his desire, Molly Ringwald asks Hall why he hangs around with such jerks.  Hall replies, "Yeah, but the thing is, I'm kinda like the leader. Kinda like the king of the dipshits." 

Ringwald then proceeds to give Hall some hope that perhaps, with another year's seasoning, he might turn out to be a completely normal person.

He won't, we all know it, but for those of us who WERE the type of dipshits that Hall hangs out with, it gave us all a moment of hope.

The best testament to the quality of Hughes' work is that I'll bet 90% of people who are plus or minus 5 years of my age (which is 46, for the record) can throw out at least one quote from one of his films.  And I encourage you to do so, below, in the comments section.